I don't want anyone to see. Napoleon Dynamite : I know what you mean. Napoleon Dynamite : What the flip was Grandma doing at the sand dunes? Randy : Hey, give me 50 cents so I can buy a pop. Bullied Kid : I don't have any, Randy. Randy : C'mon, I'll pay you back. Bullied Kid : I don't have Randy : I'll do this to you Bullied Kid : Don't!
Here, here. Napoleon Dynamite : [Napoleon, who's been watching, walks up to the kid] How's your neck? Bullied Kid : Stings. Napoleon Dynamite : That's too bad. Napoleon Dynamite : Pedro offers you his protection. Randy : Hey, let me borrow your bike. Bullied Kid : No. Randy : C'mon, I'll give you some chips. Bullied Kid : No! Cholo No.
The driver shakes his head 'no' with a threatening look on his face. Randy gives up and walks away from the kid. The bullied kid smiles]. Trisha : I wanted to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me. Napoleon Dynamite : Really?
It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done. Trisha : Yeah Napoleon Dynamite : What kind of bike do you have? Pedro : It's a sledgehammer. Napoleon Dynamite : Dang! You got shocks, pegs You ever take it off any sweet jumps? Napoleon Dynamite : [Cut to Pedro jumping] You got like three feet of air that time. Napoleon Dynamite : [while hitch-hiking] So are you guys like Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hookups? Napoleon Dynamite : You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school.
This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff. Napoleon Dynamite : What are you doing here, Uncle Rico? Uncle Rico : Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today.
Broke her coccyx. Napoleon Dynamite : [to Pedro] Just follow your heart. That's what I do. D-Qwon : [excitedly] Welcome to D-Qwon's dance grooves, are you ready to get your groove on? Napoleon Dynamite : [deadpans] Yes. D-Qwon : All right then, let's get started! Napoleon Dynamite : [taunting a bully] Oh yeah? Who's the only one here who knows secret Ninja moves from the government? Uncle Rico : So what do you think? Kip : It's pretty cool, I guess. Uncle Rico : Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time.
I'd take state. Napoleon Dynamite : This is pretty much the worst video ever made. Kip : Napoleon, like anyone can even know that. Uncle Rico : You know what, Napoleon? You can leave. Napoleon Dynamite : You guys are retarded! Napoleon Dynamite : Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.
Uncle Rico : I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon. Napoleon Dynamite : I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up! Uncle Rico : I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' bucks. Napoleon Dynamite : I could make that much money in five seconds! Kip : Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today. Uncle Rico : Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job.
So why don't you get out there and feed Tina. Napoleon Dynamite : Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap! Napoleon Dynamite : Hey can I use your guys's phone for a sec? Secretary No. Napoleon Dynamite : I don't feel very good. Kip : [making nachos on the other side of the line] Hi.
Napoleon Dynamite : Is grandma there? Kip : No, she's getting her hair done. Napoleon Dynamite : Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Kip : What do you need? Napoleon Dynamite : Can you just go get her for me? Kip : I'm really busy right now. Napoleon Dynamite : Just tell her to come get me.
Kip : Why? Napoleon Dynamite : Cause I don't feel good! Kip : Well, have you talked to the school nurse? Napoleon Dynamite : No, she doesn't know anything.
Will you just come get me? Kip : No. Napoleon Dynamite : Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick? Kip : No, Napoleon. Napoleon Dynamite : But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip : Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer. Napoleon Dynamite : I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko! Kip : See ya. Napoleon Dynamite : Uh! Deb : Um, hello. Would you like to look like this? Napoleon Dynamite : [Napoleon takes the photo and looks at it] This is a girl.
Napoleon Dynamite : I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral. Deb : Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts? Deb And here we have some boondoggle key chains.
A must-have for this season's fashion. Napoleon Dynamite : I already made like infinity of those at scout camp. Kip : It's a time machine, Napoleon. We bought it online. Napoleon Dynamite : Yeah, right. Kip : It works, Napoleon. You don't even know. Napoleon Dynamite : Have you guys tried it yet? Kip : [reluctantly] No. Napoleon Dynamite : I like your sleeves. They're real big. Deb : Thank you. I made them myself. Napoleon Dynamite : So are you and Pedro getting really serious now?
Deb : No. We're just friends. Kip : [Napoleon has Kip in a sleeper-hold] Ow! Ah geez! Napoleon Dynamite : What the crap was Uncle Rico doin' at my girlfriend's house?
Kip : Napoleon, let go of me! I think you're bruisin' my neck meat! Napoleon Dynamite : Fine! Napoleon Dynamite : What the heck are you guys doin'? Tryin' to ruin my life and make me look like a freakin' idiot? Kip : I'm out makin' some sweet moola with Uncle Rico. Geez, I think you ripped my mole off.
Kip: Why? Kip: Well, have you talked to the school nurse? Will you just come get me? Kip: No. Napoleon: Well, will you do me a favor then?
Can you bring me my chapstick? Kip: No, Napoleon. Napoleon: But my lips hurt real bad! Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. Kip: See ya. Napoleon: Ugh! Napoleon: Hey Pedro what do you think of that one? Napoleon: I caught you a delicious bass. Napoleon: I like your sleeves.. Pedro: Is she hot? Napoleon: See for yourself. Pedro: I like her bangs. Napoleon: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year. Napoleon: Pedro offers you his protection.
Napoleon: Shox! Napoleon: sorry im late, i had to tame a wild stallion for your wedding present. Napoleon: take it off any sweet jumps? Napoleon: Take it over any sweet jumps Pedro: Yeah. Napoleon: The defect in this one is bleach Judges: thats correct Napoleon: yesssssssssssssss.
Napoleon: Tina come get your food you fat lard! Napoleon: Tina! Come get some food, you fat lard! Napoleon: Well, what is there to eat? Grandma: Oh, Napoleon, just make yourself a quesa-dilluh! Napoleon: What kind of bike do you have? Pedro: It is a sledgehammer. You ever take it off any sweet jumps? Napoleon: You wanna play me? Napoleon:hey pedro, you gunna eat your tots?
Pedro:No Napoleon:can i have them? Napoleon:The defect in this one is bleach. Napoleon: Yessssssssss. Napoleon:This one tastes like the cow got into an onion patch. FFA Judge 2: Correct. I think you tore my mole off.
Is it bleeding? Napoleon: Yeah just a little bit. Napoleon:You see that girl over there? Nathan: Napoleon, give me some of your tots. Napoleon: No, go find your own. Nathan: Come on, give me some of your tots. Nathan: [kicks the tots] Napoleon: Ugh! Nice sleeves. Thanks, I made them myself.
Over there in that pig pen i found some Shoshoni arrow heads. Pedro offers you his protection. Pedro-If I ran for senior class president doyou think that anyone would vote for me. Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me? Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! Pedro: Like what are my skills? Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. Napoleon: Heck yes they will. Napoleon: Well for one thing, you have a sweet bike… And you are basically the only guy in school who has a mustache.
Pedro: Yes, that is true. If I become president, you can be my secretary or something. Napoleon: Yesssssssssssssss. Plus, I could be head of your Secret Service.
Napolean: Heck yes! Pedro: Who was that? Napoleon: Trisha. Pedro: Oh, did you draw her a picture? Be good to me. Please, keep going. Dead on…. YesDo you know who said this quote from the movie? Rex: At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. She has sandy blonde hair, a pretty, pretty face.
Shocks… pegs… lucky! Smashing in the face of a pinata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Jem State. So what did you do this summer Napoleon? I told you! I went wolverine hunting with my grandpa in Alaska! How many did you shoot? Like fifty! What did you shoot them with again? A frickin 12 gauge, what do you think?! Some Kid: Give me that! Its MINE! Napoleon: What the flip kid, get a life! Stay home and eat all the chips, Kip! You got shocks, pegs. This is pretty much the worst video ever made.
Like anyone could possibly know that. Tina come get some ham. Tina you fat lard come eat some food! Tina you fat lard come get some dinner. Tina you fat lard! Tina eat the food! Tina you fat lard, come get some dinner.
Tina you fat laurd come get some dinner! Tina eat. Tina you fat tub of lard come get some dinner. Tina you lard, come eat your dinner! Come get your food you fat lard! Tina, come get some ham! Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner. In , BYU alumni Jared and Jerusha Hess, alongside the acting talents of a young Jon Heder, birthed a quirky indie comedy about a gawky Idaho teenager who donned moon boots and smuggled tater tots into history class.
Sixteen years later, Napoleon Dynamite is a cult classic and pop-culture phenomenon renowned for its cast of shockingly genuine characters and ingenious writing. The script is a stroke of pure comedic genius; insanely hilarious dialogue that isn't tongue-in-cheek is refreshing, especially in today's sea of stale one-liners.
The jokes land because they are authentic. Hess was one of six boys living in a small farmhouse in Idaho, and he based the film's plot largely on his experience growing up in Preston the real town where the film is set. The characters are based on real people, real dorks. And real dorks say some of the most memorable things.
Here are ten quotes from Napoleon Dynamite that you'll never forget. Few cafeteria tater tots live up to the superb crispiness of Preston High School. High schoo l lunch periods are notorious for being short-lived and way too early.
There's a long line to wait in, gross sloppy goops to investigate and forget about finding a decent and socially respectable place to sit. With such a painstaking process, it's no wonder Napoleon takes his lunch to go, hiding delicious tots in his cargo pant's pocket.
While everyone likes to believe Randy is the only bully in this situation, what with him kicking Napoleon and crushing his beloved potato nuggets, Napoleon is not without fault. Don't forget he stole the tater tots from Pedro in a previous scene as the two eat lunch together. Why Pedro wasn't hungry for those golden brown jewels? We may never know.
Nice comeback from the year old man child. How do those off-brand chips your Grandma bought you taste? Kip thinks he's so cool, and honestly, most of his lines kill because he actually believes he's got exceptional wit and matching swagger.
Deb may not be the most fashion-forward teen, but she's a simple sweetheart with delicate feelings. She's so offended by Kip's mediocre at best comment that she shoves her handy crafts into Napoleon's arms and runs away. However hurtful, Kip's lame retort is responsible for Napoleon and Deb becoming friends, so it's not all bad
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